I kept to a strict macrobiotic diet. I harvested the wheat, fruit, and vegetables myself. I threw out all of my processed foods. I threw out all the processed food in the tri-state area. I was already a vegan so I stepped it up a notch. I got "XVX" tattooed on my forehead. I bought every Slapshot record and I liked every picture of alt models with Earth Crisis tattoo's on their face. One time, I saw my neighbor breast feeding her child and I ripped the covering from her body, grabbed the infant from her chest and karate kicked it right in the face while shouting, "Physically Strong/Morally Straight/Positive Youth/We're the Youth of Today."
I exercised 32 hours a day. I lifted until I had muscles on my muscles. The sound of my workout grunts were so bestial that animal control was called and I ended up with a tranquilizer dart in each of my abs.
I would meditate until the supramundane powers were my bitch. I attained Nirvana seven different times and it sounded like a Yes album.
Now I was ready. My body was literally a block of granite and my mind was purer than Karl Buechner's colon. I sat down. I connected my speakers to my laptop and I pressed play. Unfortunately, I didn't get to listen to it as my heart gave out from pure pretension.
No comments:
Post a Comment